Careers with Carmel Owls
Wanted: Remorseless Assassin
Position: Great Horned Owl (Bubo virginianus)
Department: Nocturnal Rodent Control
Location: Monterey Peninsula & Surrounding Habitats
Compensation: Competitive (all-you-can-eat rodent package)
Hoot Hard or Go Home
To keep the rodent population trembling, candidates must understand that owl life is messy, bloody, territorial—and absolutely not HR-approved.
Candidates must flirt like you mean it. If you’re shy about hooting your intentions across the canyon at 2 a.m., this is not your branch.
Male applicants must hunt like a maniac, delivering roughly seven rodents a night. Your kids don’t eat excuses. They eat freshly shredded rats and mice.
Female applicants must be a stay-at-home mom incubating eggs, glaring down predators, making it very clear whose platform this is.
Public displays of devotion and aggressive territorial screaming are not only accepted—they’re expected. Subtlety is for pigeons.
Equal Opportunity Statement
Carmel Owls is an equal opportunity habitat provider. All qualified Great Horned Owls are encouraged to apply regardless of feather pattern, molt stage, or hoot dialect.
How to Apply
Interested candidates may:
Occupy an available platform
Establish territory through confident hooting
Submit applications via silent glide-by at dusk
Join us. Restore balance. Own the night...
About Us
Carmel Owls is a community-powered wildlife initiative dedicated to restoring natural rodent control through elevated owl platforms. Our mission is simple: let nature do what nature does best.
We proudly support habitat for the majestic Great Horned Owl—a silent, efficient, and highly respected, ruthless apex predator.
Position Overview
We are currently seeking a cold-blooded, unscrupulous Great Horned Owl to join our expanding nocturnal operations team.
The ideal candidates will demonstrate remorseless hunting instincts, excellent night vision, and a merciless commitment to community-based ecological balance.
These are full-time, overnight positions with flexible perching options.
Key Responsibilities
Conduct nightly rodent surveillance and surgical removal
Maintain presence atop designated owl platforms
Provide passive community reassurance through dignified hooting
Support environmentally responsible pest management
Mentor juvenile owlets (seasonal)
Required Qualifications
Species: Bubo virginianus
Exceptional low-light visual acuity
Silent flight capabilities
Proven amoral experience capturing rats, mice, and other rodents
Strong territorial awareness
Ability to rotate head approximately 270 degrees (preferred)
Preferred Skills
Prior forest, woodland, or suburban hunting experience
Familiarity with Monterey Peninsula microclimates
Confident, resonant hoot projection
Ability to ignore squirrels during daylight hours
Benefits Package
Elevated custom-built rent-free owl platform
Expansive hunting territory
Zero poison exposure policy
Community admiration and respect
Unlimited organic rodent buffet
