Press Release
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
February 20th, 2026
CARMEL-BY-THE-SEA, CA – Carmel Owls Secures Funding for the Construction of Six Rent-Free Penthouse Suites in Monterey Peninsula
Carmel Owls is thrilled to promote its Careers page, officially recruiting battle-ready Great Horned Owls for full-time nocturnal dominance. This is not a desk job.
With the successful funding of the construction of six rent-free penthouse platforms with panoramic views of Carmel Bay and Point Lobos, Carmel Owls is seeking stay-at-home moms and ruthless, gladiator-style fathers for a May 2026 move-in of merciless rodent-shredding owls.
Applicants must enjoy midnight sex under the stars, territorial hooting, and shredding rats and mice with razor talons like nature intended. They must also understand that raising the next generation of apex predators requires stamina, feathers, and absolutely zero sensitivity training.
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Website: carmelowls.org
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Royalty Free Photos: All photos on the Carmel Owls website may be used without permission. Please give credit to those photos with the photographer's signatures.
About Carmel Owls
Carmel Owls is a volunteer conservation organization based in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, dedicated to protecting and supporting local Great Horned Owls (Bubo virginianus). through their free Adopt an Owl Platform initiative, nesting platform deployment, education, and community outreach across the Monterey Peninsula.
As part of its poison-free mission, Carmel Owls continues replacing rodenticides with something far more effective: wings, talons, and raw instinct. Male candidates are expected to hunt like possessed gladiators, ripping apart roughly seven rodents a night to keep a nest of screaming fluffballs satisfied. Female candidates must be prepared to run a strict stay-at-home mom operation each season—incubating eggs, guarding the platform like a fortress, and glaring down anything foolish enough to climb the tree trunk. Candidates are expected to own the night.
Benefits include rent-free elevated housing (custom owl platform, panoramic views), unlimited rodent buffet, flexible overnight hours, and the satisfaction of solving the community’s rat problem without a single toxic pellet. If you can’t handle blood on your beak and a little midnight passion, kindly apply elsewhere—perhaps with the pigeons. Subtlety is optional. Competence is not.
Carmel Owls: Less Poison. More Passion. Maximum Talons.
“Frankly, we’re tired of pretending owls are impressed by politically correct job postings,” said Paul Falworth, Chief Owl Officer and volunteer organizer of Carmel Owls. “What works is a 270-degree head swivel and a talent for devouring rodents on a nightly basis, night in, night out. And of course, rent-free accommodation in some of the best neighborhoods in Monterey Peninsula, California.”
The Careers page outlines the full benefits package, including free, premium owl platform housing with zero mortgage, and performance-based rodent dining.
